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IZZAT.

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II

Well, it kinda long overdue for part II of this so called diary.  For this rare occasion, I would like to talk about being alone or solitude.

If you like me, prefer to stay at home, compare to go out, prefer to do stuff alone, than with crowd, people often deduce it as an anti-social behaviour.  Well, fuck them.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoys being in group or crowd in certain occasion, it is not that I will tremble in fear around people, but rather most of thing I prefer to do it alone.

There are many reasons, but few that I could put into words are;

1. Focus, well I very much enjoy watching movie with friends but sometime watching alone is the best, because you can focus on the story and plot while don’t have to open your ear in case your friend want to tell something, which rather rude if you ignore it.  Best of all, you can shows emotion as you please.

2. Judge, well its not that I care that much of what people think about me, but I talk about me do the judging.  Whenever I saw someone, anyone I often make this judgement, which not really a nice thing to do.  To avoid it, well..being alone is the best solution and of course plus point is that you being alone mean you don’t have to behave yourself.

3. Mind, like point no 1, being in group you can’t lose yourself or you must at least try to pay attention of what they talk about.  Fortunately with existing of smartphone, this issue not really severe like before.  When you are alone, you could open the box of nothing, and think about, well, nothing.  Best thing ever.

So if you like me, there is nothing wrong for liking to be alone.  Its not a mental issue, it just a preferences.  Sure, if it come to you hating being with other people, or it scare you, perhaps you require help but other than that, let us enjoy the solitude.

I

Diary is silling thing, I guess, so why I writing one?
Well I ask myself the same question after every word written. I do, however, obtain a reason which I think pretty ‘ok’ to be a reason. Ok to be a reason to write a diary that is.

“So what is It?” you might ask, or not it really depend on your individual curiosity if I may say. It also may imply that there is no one read this, therefor no one will ask such question.

Well, in many thing that I like doing, writing is the least thing I do. I love to write, not write a novel, or poem, or anything creative or even clever to be proud of, but I do enjoy writing since the day blog exist, in my life I mean.

That day, when i first encounter this thing call blog, it is not really a big thing or well known, it kinda of underground thing really. People not sure what is it for, I’m not sure what is it for, but I love it nonetheless.

So that time, the easier way to explain what the blog is, “it’s a diary, but instead of write on this very secret book, blog is a diary where you wrote it online, and you have the option to share it publicly”

Which pretty strange that time, a public diary, why would I want one?

Who in their right mind to write something so personal and share it publicly? And who want to read it? Especially if you are nobody, you are not someone people admire, you are basically non existent outside your acquittance bracket.  So why waste time, writing this blog.

That kind of question, pretty much sum up the early day of blogging, today though, it’s just a matter where you want to share it.

Ok, that enough about my chronicle with blog, but the point is, since the day I have blog, I learn the pleasure of writing, the excitement you get when you able to put word for your thinking, you able to express your feeling in the way of words. In fact, that time, its pretty popular, people include mood tag before a post.  In other word to show what kind of mood you are in during writing the post.

Which I find today a rare thing.  In other word early blog is very personal, really personal. I always try to stay away from it.

Unfortunately, my passion for writing was not shared by my brain, my writing brain, idea just hard to come by.  When I sit down and try to write something, this monologue with my brain always happen – not always this nice though;

“Ok, you want to write?”
“Yes! it has been long overdue”
“So, what you want to write about?”
“I don’t know, stuff.”
“What stuff, what topics, what the points?”
“I don’t know, you the brain, you think about it”
“I can’t, if you know what you want to write, or why, maybe I can help find something but if you have nothing, I simply cannot”
“Fine, forget it, just forget it.”

And many of my blogs empty without new post.

So one day, actually yesterday, I started to read Gone Girl, after finished and enjoy very much The Fault in Our Stars, I tell myself to give another movie tie-in novel a go. It was okay-ish so far, but one thing that really grab my interest is, every even number chapter are the diary entry of Amy, the sort of “main” character.

And it got me thinking, well it hard to find something to write about especially if you try to be clever but what about write about your day, about your life, about your achievement, about yourself, what you drink, what you read so on and so forth.  My life might be boring and simple, but at least there something to write about, something. So I decide to join the old idea for blog, which is a personal diary.

So here I am writing the first post for my self righteous diary. I will put this on blog, because no one really read my blog, so it’s still private in some way, but available to read if anyone interested.

I’m not planning to write it frequently, let alone everyday, but I will at least not make this blog so empty like it used to be.  I think this has been pretty fun, writing this first entry I mean, pathetic or not it’s here to stay.  Oh yeah, before I forgot, the plan was to buy Gone Girl, but somehow I find myself watching Fury in theatre and oh man, what a good movie. Really really good movie, if I could do victory dance in theatre, I would.

When the movie end, I was thinking to myself, “Well, that was not bad, not bad at all”

Then I heard, this old man beside me, telling his friend or maybe son about what he think of the movie, and he said, his exact word;

“Good, simple, straight to the point and no bullshit”